I recently posted a personal story and photo on my Instagram account and my Facebook that I received a lot of positive feedback, comments and support on. I also received several messages from people telling me that I should post it on my blog as well. So … I have decided to post it here too with the hopes that it might provide others with a little encouragement and inspiration!
I went through a very rough patch of several years where I relied on others to make me happy. I needed their attention and their validation and blamed them when I wasn't feeling satisfied. I was completely blind to the fact that the REASON why I was so unhappy was because I was unhappy with and didn't love myself.
I hid behind a wall of depression and unhealthy relationships, wavering between starving myself and binge-eating and digging my nails into my own skin.
It was a miserable cry for help.
But deep down, I eventually realized that no one could help me. Not entirely. I had to help MYSELF. And that started with the choice to start learning to love myself.
So on one hot summer day in 2011 after reaching an all time low, I made the decision to embark on a mission: to be happy with myself. To forgive myself for past mistakes and for hurting others, to learn what made me happy and to become the best person that I could be while loving who I was every single step of the way!
Yes … I essentially became my own best friend! I learned to be comfortable with myself. I tried new things, explored my interests and dumped the 40 lbs I had gained while comforting myself with Ben & Jerrys. I focused on creating healthy relationships with others and dumping the ones that were unhealthy. I focused on communicating with and getting support from my family and friends. I learned to be happy IN THE NOW as opposed to putting happiness off. I was the master of saying things like, "Oh, I'll be happy when my business really takes off" and "oh, I'll be happy when I've met some one to share life with" and blah blah blah.
I focused on the notion that no matter my history, past mistakes or relationship status that I am worthy of love. For myself and from others.
Today I feel like a completely different person. I've learned that in order to be truly happy with others, you MUST learn to love yourself first. Show yourself some compassion. We're all human and NONE OF US are perfect! Embrace who you are with all your quirks and flaws. Take it one day at a time. I know that I'm worth loving, and you are too!